Kwiatki i Wpadki

Here's a few translations you'd never want to see in your own text- they're so bad it's hard not to laugh, and you may want to take a closer look- to see what happens when things go horribly, horribly wrong...

Bad taste on wheels

Back in the seventies, Ford Motor Corporation had to rename one of its Brazilian exports, the Ford Pinto, when it turned out that "pinto" is a slang term for... "small penis".

Mitsubishi went down a similar route with one of its SUVs, the Pajero, in Spanish-speaking countries. After all, would you buy a car whose name meant "wanker"?

A similar thing almost happened to Rolls-Royce. It is rumoured taht it intended to market its new model as the Rolls-Royce Mist. That, however, would not sound too dignified in Germany, where "mist" means "dung" or "manure".

The legend of the management boar- and other short stories

"Resolutions shall be adopted unanimously by the management boar" (found in a contract)

"All decisions shall require the consent of the supervisory bard (same as above)

"Ache my stomach"- boli mnie żołądek (cited during an English lesson at school)

"I rode a prescription"- wypisałem receptę (likewise)

"We thank him to discover their head before entering to this enclosure" (at the entrance to a church)

Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension" (in a skiing resort)

Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion" (menu in a restaurant in Poland)

"Chicken rude and unreasonable" (another menu, this time in Japan)

"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid" (in a hotel)

"Please keep toilet clean and don't feed the toilet" (likewise)

"It has separated to the male and the female. Don't mistake" (found in a Chinese lavatory)

"Mr. Friendly Quality Eraser. Mr. Friendly Arrived!! He always stay near you, and steals in your mind to lead you to a good situation!" (on a packaging)

"CD-R discs. For computer burning" (found in an electronics store)

"Sausages with french flies" (a somewhat distasteful menu)

"Forbid stool and urine, spit in everywhere. Advocate using civilization language" (in a park somewhere in Japan)

"Relevant crazy warning" (i.e. epilepsy warning, as translated from Chinese)

"Please take good care of the toilet facilities can not separate a plank namely a wall don't write a disorderly painting" (that Chinese lavatory again)

"For quiet reasons of the hotel guests, don't hit the bottle, make trouble, full mouthed, for badly violator, hotel will cancel his lodging qualifications and call police" (in a hotel)

"Is forbitten to steal hotel toweles please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read this notice" (same as above)

"Please keep chair on position and keep table clean after dying. Thank you for your corporation" (in a restaurant)